Digital Garden Teaching Archive

I can’t believe I did that! The class went relatively smoothly. I already have so many ideas for how I would do it differently if I had another chance.  Although, I think it was an overall success. The students were so nice! I was talking with a few early arrivers before class to fill the time, asking them questions about their majors and commute time. It was a little awkward and I was resisting the urge to look out the window, turn away, fidget, or go on my phone. I forced myself to welcome everyone even though it felt very unfamiliar. That seems like the best way to describe all of this. Especially my attempt to dress more professional and look older. If I was dressing in my comfort zone, I think I would look really similar to my students. I wore a collard shirt today which made me feel a little different than usual, but I’m doing something very new, so I think it makes sense to dress a little differently to fit the occasion. I wish I could have been more vulnerable with my students. I had a very hard time talking about myself. I rushed through my intro slide, which I think may have been a mistake. The students must be comfortable with me in order to open up in their writing. I wish I took more time. Though at least I had an intro slide. It just felt so unnatural. I remember when I was a student I was always fascinated by the younger grad student teachers because I saw their lives as more attainable. I wanted to be like them. Part of me feels very proud to be in this same role now, but I am also so uncomfortable by the attention. I am usually shy around strangers, hiding if I can. I am very out in the open as a teacher. This is good… in the long run. I need to be comfortable with exposure, but it’s just getting there that will take some deep breaths and letting go. I also really liked Gin’s idea of name tags. I might do that on Wednesday just to get better with the names. I need to ask after they take attendance, if I called everyone’s name. A little clunky there. I need to bring post it notes with me in case I need to write a quick reminder during class. I need to slow down when I explain things and really think about what I want to say probably before class. If I explain things too quickly or too vaguely, students really won’t understand what they are meant to be doing. I need to appear more empathetic next class. I was really focusing on looking strict to convince the students to do work, show up, and make good technology choices. In the future, I want to focus on breaking down that strictness so that students will not feel scared of academia. It was really cool to hear about what they want to do. One student, Deven, wanted to study marine life in Alaska. I felt bad because I couldn’t understand his name at first. I kept thinking he was saying David, but in Spanish, like Davíd, but it turned out he had a lisp, which he felt the need to explain. Then, I had to look up how to spell his name on my canvas roster. I felt bad. I hope I didn’t make him feel uncomfortable about it, but he didn’t appear to be upset. I just said it was okay and apologized. I tried my best to understand him, and didn’t keep calling him Davíd at least. Anyway, I overheard another, Casper, student say they wanted to be a special ed teacher which is really cool. Another student, Dejah, said she had a nonverbal autistic sibling, which is so cool. I miss being around nonverbal autistic people. Something about it is so comforting. I think it’s the way communicating with them is like a puzzle with such a high reward when you begin to understand them. It’s really an amazing feeling. When students share things about themselves I never know what to do with my face. I don’t want to show excitement because I don’t want to make them feel different, but I think that's exactly what I should show. The things that make people different are meant to be celebrated, not looked over. I think I should show excitement but not ask dumb questions. What I usually do is tense up, even though it’s not what I’m thinking inside. I think instinctually I understand these moments are important. They make a big impact on how students feel in your class, outside of class too they are how people gauge where a person might stand on certain issues so that they too can share things about themselves that might, in other contexts, be seen as drawbacks. I think I should celebrate, get excited, and say what about that is so exciting.