The Outside Lands Music Festival Pulled Me Out of The Deepest Funk

The image of a green house with a white latticework fence and pink, dainty flowers slid into the view of the passenger seat window. Wind chimes billowed in the evening air casting a peaceful spell over the property. The white door swung open and out sauntered a young woman dressed as a fairy, hardly the outfit I would have chosen for a road trip, but she looked very elegant. Her dark teal skirt and small red tank top were covered by a vintage red and gold coat with shoulder pads that matched the pattern of my parents bed sheets from the late 90s. She was lean with broad shoulders and a sunken chest, like a rock climber. Her hiking backpack weighed the same as her and reached from below her waist to up above her head. As she climbed into the back seat, half her face became fixed in a wide uncontrolled smile that barely moved as she said, “Hi. I’m Eva Luna.”

“Hi, I’m Emma.” I responded from the passenger seat. Her presence was louder than the other girl I had just met who sat directly behind me, Dani. She was reserved with a warm sort of smile, much like me. Friendly and gentle to strangers. When Eva got in the car, she immediately interrupted our small talk with thoughts on the artists playing at the festival we about to attend and a video about a young child talking about their infatuation with corn. Energy buzzed into the car when she sat down. Then we took the six hour drive drom Long Beach to San Fransisco.

Eva Luna and Dani focus on the positives. On the drive to Outside Lands in San Francisco Park, Dani told us about her negative boyfriend, Dylan, how he always is complaining and ceases to understand that his life is a dream, that he gets to spend his time at the beautiful campus of Fullerton Community College, where they both major in music, that he gets to sing songs with all of his friends and girlfriend everyday. In the midst of her frustration, I agreed with her, nodding my head to her woes and expressing the benefits of positivity, but deep down I knew I was more like Dylan, than Dani.

I have spent the past year of my life in a constant state of misery and self pity. At school I was always so busy and hated seeing so many people I didn't know. At my barista job, I would often complain about my hurting feet and felt I could never get a break to do things I genuinely wanted. At home there was nothing to do but consume media, television, video games and books. Life became a dull hum of never enough, and eventually I was waking up in the morning assuming something was wrong before anything even happened. My gut feelings were twisted, so that a lazy sunny day had become too hot and too boring.

Then came my plans for this music festival. The day before I left I remember saying to a friend that I wasn't so sure how this weekend would go. Even though I was open for anything, I expected awkward interactions and shitty bands. Eva Luna, Dani, my close friend Lila and got jobs passing out burgers at the festival, so we got free tickets, free festival food, and a free place to stay with Lila's brother walking distance from the festival. This is the ideal situation for a college student, but I was still dreading the weekend away from my bed.

In the car, Eva kept playing song after song that she liked and singing at the top of her lungs. Dani talked for an hour straight about Jenna Marbles and all her dogs, and another youtuber who teaches herself carpentry jobs and building techniques while listening to Disney music. They felt more alive than anyone I had encountered for a while, bursting with interest and curiosity. A day into the festival, I felt so clean of daily frustration and disappointments, like the feeling in your chest when you chug ice water out of a clean glass cup after being in the sun all day.

They say you are the average of the five closest people in your life. My issue at the moment is getting anyone new to stay in my life. How do you make close friends who aren't fellow students or coworkers? I want to keep their positivity in my life, but how do I reach out to them and ask for it? Logically I would tell myself to get their social media and ask to hang out, but something about that feels like dating. The effort and the planning. Getting ready and meeting up. In the past, friends would merge into my life, but now I'm finding I need to actively seek them out.

Positivity is infectious. Before this trip, I felt so tired and frustrated with everything. I had stopped trying to make friends or talk to anyone I didn't already know. I assumed the worst in strangers. But these two strangers were so pleasant that for first time in a long while I felt relaxed. I need to stay this way and keep my past way of thinking from creeping in. A smile and a greeting towards another person, asking them a question about themselves, these are ways to make each other feel better. I think everyone is damaged in some way, right now especially, and it's important to look out for each other, even if we are strangers.

Anyways, preaching aside, Outside Lands was crazy amazing. The biggest names we saw were Green Day (my favorite), Post Malone, SZA, Mitski, Phoebe Bridgers, and Rina Sawayama. Also Faye Webster, Cassandra Jenkins, Surf Mesa, Pussy Riot, and this band The Linda Lindas who were tiny little teenagers with drawn on cat whiskers singing punk metal. When the 11 year old drummer clapped her sticks together, they reminded me of the band in Scott Pilgrim. Their stage presents was amazing, confident and full of energy. Their performance went better than SZA's in my opinion. I'm excited to see where they go with themselves. I didn't get to see everyone because I was busy passing out ketchup and $20 burgers, but overall, it was such a great experience. I got this acai bowl for free from another vendor with oatmeal in it. You must try this. Layer acai, then oatmeal, then chia seed pudding and top with fruit and granola.

And remember to stay positive!

~ Emma Blogs